Friday, March 11, 2011

In which I write an open letter to Stephenie Meyer....

Now, before I post my letter and get all twi-hardy on you, I must explainy.
Every week in the Alice Marvels newsletter there's a "Who's your favorite villian" or "Who is your favorite vampire".  You enter and if your answer is witty and cool enough, you win whatever book is being given away that week.  If you've been paying attention, it was my entry, and then my win, that made Kristin encourage me to write, blog, etc.  It's why I'm here.  Alice told both Kristin and I that we could win as much as we wanted, so we enter as we see fit -- when it's a book we want.

This week, the prompt was "if you could see into any book character's future, whose would you peer into?".  Kristin's was bloody brilliant and she totally deserved to win.  I'll let her share it with you as to not steal her thunder.  Mine was farking hilarious, or I thought so anyway.  But neither of us won this week and I'm pretty irked about it.  Ok, so I'm a sore loser.  But since I could not think of anything funny to blog about today, I thought I would share with you. Because you guys rock!

Enjoy...I hope...

An Open Letter To Stephenie Meyer:

Dear Mrs. Meyer,

It's been a while since I have heard from you. I can only assume you are just swamped writing a sequel to The Host and all. Anyway, let me get right to the point. The Twilight Saga was Bella's story. Eddie and Bells get the happy ending that they deserve. What I don't quite understand is what happens to Jacob? Now, I must emphasize that I am or was never Team Jacob or even Team Edward (Jasper + Uniform = Yum). I did, however, always believe that Jacob deserved true happiness, and with Bella being off the market and all, having him imprint on her half vampire / half human daughter was a true stroke of genius. Jake is too good, too pure to be left heartbroken and alone. I am glad to see that he was given what he needed -- someone to love that will love him back. I love that his feelings for Bella and the pain they caused him were replaced with his adoration for Nessie, thus allowing Bella and Edward to get on with their lives. I mean, Bella married Ed and had his spawn. Jacob was obviously out of the running, right? Time to move on, Jake!

So what I need to know is: How does it all work? How will the laws of nature and the history between the two clans relate to their future? It'll be a few years before they can actually be an item. I know Jacob will be by her side during this time, but what happens when she's of age? Will they be able to have a full and happy life, like the one that he promised Bella? Will they be able to marry? Have....babies? Puppies? Something? What happens if they grow up together only to find they can't do these things? Can he un-imprint? Can he be with someone else? Will he just revert to Bella at some point? Can Leah imprint on HIM? Since Alice can't really "see" either of them, it's not like you can just do a quick flash forward, right?

Now, if I were you, I would have already designated a room in my house as "the money room" and would be spending my days rolling around in all the cash. All day, every day. Better yet, I'd build a pool in the backyard and fill it with money, not water. I'd just spend my days doing laps back and forth in it, but only after I'd had some time in the money room. But seriously, I need these questions answered. Really soon, please. I mean, go ahead and finish the sequel to The Host, because I need that too, but please...when you have some time out of the money pool, can you let me know? I know in that brilliant little mind of yours, you see their future. I beg you to share it with me.

In Carlisle We Trust,
Your Number One Fan

P.S. Seriously - The Host sequel, ASAP!

Have a great weekend ya'll!


  1. haha, your questions are totally legit. but i guess she intentionally left it to the reader's imagination, eh?

  2. As much as I love your letter, I HATED the way Breaking Dawn ended. I mean, she was a freaking BABY for God's sake! Gross! At what point does it go from "aw, you're such a cute baby" to "heeeey baby". Awkward. But I suppose I can hate all I want, because Stephenie still has the option of a money room, and I don't!

  3. Great letter and very funny. But yeah, what about Jacob? He is such a sweetheart.

  4. ok! yes! i'm such a conspiracy theorist, but here goes... i think sm is secretly writing another series of forks books, but this series will be primarily from black's POV. i think that her transitioning to his pov so much in breaking dawn, creating nessie, and introducing that half vamp guy from south america (forgive me i can't remember his name) is all a setup for the new series. she has only said that she is not writing any more books with bella as the pov- she never said (as far as i've read) that she's not going to return to the forks universe, if anything she's insisted that all her characters have a story to tell and she hasn't addressed that to it's fullest extent as of yet. maybe i'm an optimist (doubt that:P) but i think there is more to come. but she was SO BURNED when midnight sun got hacked into and leaked all over the internet that i think she's keeping mum's the word on this series... but then... i am a conspiracy theorist. :)
    loved your letter btw!